I belong to some of the few men in the world that do not treat all the women I date like prostitutes, but anyone who follows the traditional customs of courtship and conventional dating surely do. After all, that is what you are doing whenever you pick up the bill.

The reason why I don’t has nothing to do with my views on prostitution itself: As most rational liberals I believe everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want, as long as it does not violate anyone else’s right to do the same thing. No, the reason I don’t is because:

1. I am not less worth than women, so I don’t have to compensate them for being with me.
2. I know women want and enjoy sex as much as I do, sometimes even more.
3. I like to date multiple girls in parallell, so I wouldn’t be able to afford it if I did.

Makes sense?

Few males realize why they are supposed to pay for females when dating. Why aren’t females supposed to pay for males, or why not split the tabs? Why are feminists who are outspokenly passionate about equal treatment, including equal pay, not adamant about equal expenses as well?

The expectation for males to pay for females’ company is something that we all learn very early on as part of all customs and traditions that belong to courtship, like paying for dinner and drinks when dating and purchasing the wedding ring and wedding ceremony. We are not born with these beliefs, but before boys reach adolescence they have already adopted them, and girls have learned them too, to the extent of going on dates without even bringing their wallets or clothes that have pockets.

It is true that money can be used as a symbol to demonstrate that you care for a woman, but if it is, it should be spent without the expectation of anything in return—and that is not how most males use money with women. Half of males know that they are treating all women like prostitutes, while the other half have not thought that far or even deny that they do—while still paying. Although they might never seek out a “real” prostitute, if they knew from the start which women they spend money on will never get into bed with them, they would cancel those dates and not spend a cent on them.

In that sense, most males treat the women they want like prostitutes to some degree, from young boys paying for the girl’s ice cream to adult males paying for their girlfriend’s share of the apartment rent. The fact is that few females mind this. The only difference between regular females and prostitutes is how indirect and vague the transaction must be for it to be acceptable. However, the majority of females would never call themselves prostitutes, not even part-time, and would take great offense if someone else did; yet at the same time they all worry about being “cheap.”

Females who worry about being cheap have obviously already made up their minds that they can indeed be bought, as long as the price is right and as long as the customer is a male they like. They are unaware of having made this decision themselves, though, because they never did. Their socialization made that decision for them. Plenty of prostitutes have the same requirements; they only have sex with a male they like and only for the right price. The biggest difference between them and all other females is that they are aware of the reality of their decision.

A prostitute is any female who has sex in exchange for compensation, even if she likes the male or has turned down a thousand males before him. The only practical difference between a regular female and a prostitute is whether cash is being exchanged directly. Exchanging money is a felony in most countries, but accepting a gift, or otherwise an indirect transaction, is not only legal but also socially acceptable. Giving of gifts is a practice that is even taught as good manners of a gentleman by mothers to sons.

Most males are raised with manners to give females flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or ice creams and dinner, but even though none of that is cash, all are compensation. However, you do not have to pay for sex, not with cash or by any other means of compensation, as the very idea that you have to compensate women in any way is wrong. It would only be necessary if males were indeed less valuable than females, which they are not, or if sex was a service females offer males, which it is not. Males are only less valuable to society, and that is why we are conditioned to believe and act like it, including indirectly by adopting customs and traditions based on that belief.

You will never hit your mark when you are facing the wrong direction, no matter how good your aim. That is why I start by explaining how your socialization has shaped the way you think in my book, The Manual, and how those thoughts in turn make you treat yourself and the women you want in certain ways that make you FAIL, regardless of how hard you try.