Never Be Ashamed Over Your Sexual Desires
Sex is still taboo in many parts of the world, even though we all know it is the very reason we exist. We obviously would not be here if our ancestors had not had sex with each other. Your parents had sex with each other, and your grandparents had sex too. It is a scary thought, I know, and something no one likes to talk about. However, when you grow up in an environment in which people intentionally avoid such a central subject, then it starts becoming a social problem.
Traditional socialization has always made sex taboo, so although everyone has natural sexual desires, they are often covered up as if it would be a big deal for others to know. In most social settings, talking about sex is considered embarrassing, and even thinking about it is shameful.
Few families talk about sex in a relaxed manner around the dinner table, and most do not talk about it at all—despite a family being the result of sex. Children are told they were brought into the world by a stork if they ask where they come from, and while being allowed to watch people get hurt or even die on TV, their parents change the channel if there is anything sexual in a television show. Many adults never talk about sex as if they have no interest in it and nothing to say about it, unless they have been drinking and then it all of a sudden can dominate an entire evening’s discussion. Many religions still preach that sex is bad for you, at least before you have married, and legislators have imposed age restrictions on both the access of sexual material as well as the real practice of sex itself. These restrictions are enforced by incarceration, which forces people to hide their natural sexual desires and hence be ashamed of them.
All forms of shame are indicators of your low self-esteem, which is why you have to get over them. However, it really becomes a problem when you are ashamed of your sexual desires, since you have to reveal to women that you find them sexy and that you want to have sex with them to seduce them. Otherwise, you will end up with a female friend, not a girlfriend, because sex is what separates the two kinds of relationships.
Any shame you feel indicates that you consider other people’s opinion more important than your own and has to be dealt with, and if it is evident in sexual circumstances you have to deal with it as soon as possible. If you check women out but look away when they notice you doing it, if your face turns red whenever sex comes up, if you’d rather walk around than straight through the lingerie section, if you leave the room or lower your voice when your girlfriend calls you, or if buying condoms takes more effort than buying anything else, you have to get over it. And the only way to do that is to challenge rather than avoid those kinds of uncomfortable situations.
Challenge yourself! No one else will do it for you.
You have to become shameless so that you are able to do whatever you want to do, whatever needs to be done, even if some people generally would avoid it and label it as embarrassing. If they want to make themselves feel bad, fine. Let them have it. Some people actually do feel embarrassed about what other people do; that is how strong the effects of social conditioning can be, but this only proves that some of our feelings have nothing to do with our own experience.